Stallions are weak, soft, sensitive, and need a mare to take care of them. Everypony knows that. Well, except this one Stallion, but he’s insane, so he needs help anyway, right? (RGRE one shot extended into a half-proper story. Idk)
In Equestria, every stallion is treated with all the chivalries and respect he can bear. Because Stallions are more sensitive and more easily hurt when they aren’t taken care of by the mares around them.
So when Twilight hears of a lone stallion that swears like a sailor at passerby and ‘takes no shit from nobody, whether it good shit or bad shit,’ she’s dubious of the claims, but is sure that no stallion can be allowed to live so close to the Everfree all alone.
So she decides to do her best to save him.
And by save, I mean put him in the care of mares and get him herding.
And by him, I mean me.
And by me, I mean an earth-pony badass, formerly a human, formerly of Earth.
And by does her best, I mean she can try.
Bring it on whorse. I’m a hormonally imbalanced human psychopath with a death wish and an alcohol addiction trapped in the body of a tiny fucking horse.
In other words, I’m a pissed man who’s gonna have a helluva good time shattering your sexism through insults and violence.
I love to set the world afire, don’t you?
====================
RGRE Fanfic.
Sex tag is for mention thereof for comedic purposes. No clop here.
Featured! 4/2/18-4/3/18-7/6/19
Cover art is credit to Navanastra.
I would also like to state that this is half crackfic, half serious, so three of the groups its featured in are people insulting it, unfortunately. They're trying to point out cringey stuff in a story that's full of it on purpose, so... good luck with that. Enjoy.
(VERY inconsistent updates. I'm a college student.)
Twilight Sparkle is not who she says she is, she doesn't really know WHAT she is...
A mother will do a lot for her child, even give them up if it meant them having a safer life growing up, despite the obvious pain that comes for the parent.
That pain is something Queen Chrysalis has gone through for eighteen years, but now the time is upon them, and she wants her daughter back. Even if that means invading Canterlot during a royal wedding.
What does it mean to be a Changeling? To the former human Prince Phasma, that means doing what you can to survive and thrive in an utterly alien world.
In the beginning, The Great Weaver brought together the world, from the mountains to the forests. Stitching it together, the Great Tapestry connects all living and nonliving things.
The Changelings found themselves especially connected to this Tapestry. Legend says that the first Changelings fell through the world as it was woven together, only to be caught on the First Weave beneath it all.
But what happens when something else is caught in the Weave?
Prince Phasmatodea, son of Queen Chrysalis, remembers what it was like before he hatched. He remembers being a human. He remembers dying. And he fully intends on avoiding another death.
But being gifted a new life does not matter when one failure, one false step, will lead to your untimely demise in the Changeling hive; for Prince Phasma must survive his toughest adversary from the start: Mother Dearest.
A human finds himself in Equestria where other humans - turned into one of the various native races - have been living for hundreds of years.
So, you think you know Equestria just because you watch My Little Pony? Well, I can tell you, the show barely scratched the surface. The name's Shirotora, and I'm one of many humans that call Equestria home.
Of course, where most humans find themselves in the form of a pony, griffin, minotaur or some other regular race, I happen to have the form of the servants of an ancient tyrant god that were sealed away along with their master thousands of years ago.
Yeah, that didn't go over very well with Celestia.
This is the story of my adventures in this crazy world of not-so-cartoonish ponies, along side a colorful cast of friends, including a crystal pegasus that can control fire, a dragon-pony that was locked in stone for eight hundred years, a demon blacksmith looking to get contracts with mortals, and the worlds luckiest/unluckiest mare... Oh, and the Mane 6 are in there, too.
Together, we'll figure out why the hell predators are getting more violent, and why more and more monsters are suddenly popping up everywhere.
I just hope it doesn't have anything to do with some ancient, long-banished evil coming back...
It does, doesn't it...
Dammit.
This is a complete reimagining of my first successful story, Chaotic Harmony. While it will share some characters and events with the original, this is going to be an entirely different experience.
To those of you who loved the original, I hope you love this just as much. To those who didn't, I hope you find this an improvement.
Also, to those who have been following Children of Chaos, that story will also be reworked a little as a sequel to this, not the original.
Note: While this is not a true AU, there will be some pretty major deviations from canon. There is no AU tag because all major plot points in canon still happened in this fic, though the details of how they played out may have changed, and most changes could be wedged into the show's canon. There's also a little bit of 'dark', but not too much.
Basically, this was made as if the show was the kid friendly version of what happened.
The changeling army has taken control of Canterlot. While their queen secures her grip over this newly captured territory, what happens to the drones who made up her army?
Queen Chrysalis planned for months to finally take Canterlot for herself. Months of reconnaissance, bribery, and maneuvering to finally lower the defenses of the Equestrian capital at just the right moment. But while her stated goal was always to have enough love to feed the desperate Swarm, the reality of the invasion was something else.
The queen spawned thousands of drones, filling the sky with untrained warriors in order to marshal the greatest forces when the day of battle arrived. But then that day came, and they won. Now what? Most of those drones didn't even matter enough to earn a name, and so they will probably die unremembered. But at least one is determined to make something of herself in her queen's new world. She's determined to understand these strange creatures called ponies, and to survive the invasion no matter what.
Begins during a reimagined Canterlot Wedding. Updates every Wednesday.
Recover Crystal Heart? Yes. Slay Sombra? Yes. Become the new King? Ye- wait what?!
The universe is forever altered as a human is embroiled into the timeline and ends up changing a key event of the story. John Bukharin woke up with a rare case of 'Isekai' into a world he knows about and... now he is a king. This is wrong on many levels. Especially the paperwork-level.
A man, intelligent, articulate, cunning and above all...human.
What is it to be human? What is human? Hominid, Homo sapiens sapien or roughly translated as the wise man. The last surviving variation of the genus homo. A species capable of feats both great and terrible. Destruction with a love for creativity. A kind with a fear of the unknown and an all-consuming curiosity. Our species down to its very core is and always will be the epitome of tenacity and adaptation. It is because of this as well as an instinctual compulsion to dominate and manipulate the world in which we reside, I say let this new world know what a human truly is.
An exploration ship from a far off, far future humanity crashes bow first directly into the planet of Equus, leading to the eight individuals on board changing the course of history
Sometimes, things don't go exactly as one plans. Sometimes one spills their coffee, sometimes they might be late to a meeting, sometimes an entire eight-person exploration ship rams a planet that they didn't notice at significant speeds.
This is one of those times, with the UGS Possibility smashing into the planet of Equus, bringing a veritable cache of impossible wonders... if only its keepers can be convinced to share it. Needless to say, every sizeable power that hears of it wants a piece of the pie, some with far less scrupulous methods than others.
On hiatus until I'm more confident in my skills to do a good first contact story, see blog entry.
Things can go wrong quickly in the 25th century. What was a vacation for your average kid is now an identity crisis in a world that isn't black and white and line between real and unreal is erased. Your friends aren't who you think they are
Note: Characters Humanized. Takes place in an a future Earth that blends elements from the present with the future. Also, warning label, this story is quite old and long and serves as my benchmark for my writing. Filled with plenty of small errors that high school me promised to fix but university me failed to deliver on. You've been warned.
Spitfire is happy once again. Things have finally quieted down and the Wonderbolts have returned to doing their airshows instead of military missions. And what better way to kick off a new tour season with a brand new trick? Teaming up with a legendary magician they set out to perform their most spectacular stunt yet! But something goes wrong with one of the spells involved and Spitfire goes missing...
Welcome to the future. Jett's world. The year is 2412 and the future is here. All the wonders of Tomorrow are now a part of everyday life. Humanity now lives spread out across the Solar System. Jett Halsey isn't like the other kids who live on Ganymede. He doesn't pay attention to the latest Football game, he's not fawning over all the perfect Barbies in town like other guys, hell he isn't even relaxing on his summer vacation but is instead taking summer classes. If anyone needs a vacation, it's him. But when the skydiving trip his sister planned for them goes wrong he makes a discovery that even he himself refuses to believe.
Now stuck on Earth with a plus one fate will make him contend with his identity in a world where the line between real and unreal is blurred.
Your friends aren't who you think they are...
Rated Teen for: -Socially awkward situations. -Language. -Violence. -Suggestive dialog.
Rating may change to mature depending on feedback (likely at this point). Comments Contain Spoilers.
Strangely, this story still makes me smile just as often as cringe with what high school me wrote. Oh my god. Still, I can't help but laugh at just what this strange weird story did for me.
Based on the Tumblr blogs, youtube videos and all else relating to Dan Vs. and My Little Pony. The continuing adventures of Dan, Fluffle Puff and all their friends updated every Saturday.
Based on the blogs, youtube videos and all else relating to these wonderful characters. The continuing adventures of Dan, Chrys, Twilight and all their friends in Equestria updated weekly on Saturdays. Directed by Michael Hay. Current Episode: Episode 22: The Kingdom is Broke! Dan Vs. The National Debt: When Equestria winds up flat broke, Dan takes charge to solve the kingdom's financial troubles. He assures his friends he's only going to use the most honest of practices and the most ethical of economic plans to help the nation recover. Naturally, no one believes him.
Dan has lived most of his life with a low budget, and now he's teaching ponies to do the same. Whether it's revenge schemes or get rich quick schemes, he seems to have all the answers... even if he has to steal them from somepony else.
What happens when Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth, lands in the magical land of Equestria? Same thing that happens in every cross story, but with more Deadpool!!!
Meet Deadpool: a mercenary, an assassin, and overall, an antihero in the Marvel Universe. He has the ability to quickly heal, thanks to some tests made from the Weapon X Program that healed his incurable cancer, but left his mental stability down the toilet. If any of you know the real Deadpool, don't worry, he's not the same silent freak played by Ryan Reynolds in the piece of s**t prequel starring Hugh Jackman as a short guy with metal claws. If you have no idea who or what is going on, please, look it up. Meet Equestira: A magical land that hosts many mythological creatures, but mostly god horses, unicorns, pegasi, and boring horses. Everything is ruled by two god horses; Princess Sun Butt and Princess Moon Cheeks. Sun Butt rules during the day, controls the sun, protects land from monsters, indulges in male anatomy shaped fruit & cake, and abducts children... at least that's what wikipedia says. Moon Cheeks rules the night, controls the moon, plays with people in the 'apple master race', haunts children as the next Freddy Krueger, and plans how to take over the world when no one is watching. There's also six horses that act as the 'mane' stars and a bunch of other background & side characters that this Fan Base loves... like this girl that... loves... rocks. I don't get it.
Discord makes a deal with Celestia, sending a human to Equestria at the start of season two.
When Discord breaks free of his stone prison, he proves to be much older and wiser than he was on the show. A being of ancient and unimaginable power, he forces Celestia to make a deal to save her little ponies. What she doesn't realize is that one of the terms of the deal is that she forgets ever making it. Enter Navarone, a poor human just trying to get by—or at least, to the ponies that's what he looks like. Pulled from his home by an accidental summoning from one Twilight Sparkle, Navarone is thrust into a world of ponies and more violence than he expected from such a peaceful seeming world. These are his adventures—with a few asides from everybody's favorite Lord of Chaos, of course.
Now on TVtropes! I answered a ton of questions for the fellow making this, so the stuff on there is mostly accurate.
Cover picture by a fellow called Sawhorse. If you see any mistakes, send me a PM with the chapter, the line, and the mistake and I'll fix it. This thing is huge. There are plenty of mistakes in there. Also, there are spoilers in the comments.
It feels unfair to spoil a story in the description, but a lot of people have asked for a warning about this, so the main character of my story eventually gets gender-swapped for a long duration.
While studying an alien spellform, Twilight makes the most important discovery of all time... The one which could doom her planet. | Horror Rationalfic with Lovecraftian & World of Darkness elements. Deconstruction / Subversion of Displaced.
[Rationalfic Deconstruction / Subversion of Displaced] You’ve read the stories of people from Earth being “Displaced”: Their bodies are changed, their minds are warped, and they’re thrown across the multiverse, to whatever world and timeline their supernal "Displacers" decide upon. Well, this story isn’t one of them...
...because when they tried to remake me, I didn’t let them.
A Rationalist Horror story, in which an Occultist from some version of Earth (implied to be the World of Darkness) undermines her own Displacement and ends up as a Self-Modifying Construct. Scientific Inquiry, Philosophical Debate, Rational Discussion, Body Horror, and Existential Hijinks ensue. Themes, Concepts, and Style inspired by HP Lovecraft, Elizer Yudkowsky, Gordon R Dickson, Edgar Allen Poe, Modern Prometheus (Frankenstein), Dresden Codak, World of Darkness, and Friendship is Optimal. Front page on JUL 28th, AUG 12th, OCT 30, and every update after that.
Your story breaks the shitty norm that most displaced stories have in common by being an 'actually interesting story' instead of a powertrip for a horny teen.
This is like brain porn. My head hurts but in a good way.
Author’s Notes
I often find Displaced fics to be more often Miss than Hit with me. Often, they're generic, poorly written, or just do not do anything worth reading with the concept. This is an experiment to trt out a few other concepts which aren’t used often, even by me, including some which directly subvert Displaced as a genre, and maybe even come up with some advice for those authors. This is also a crossover with the upcoming Dragon: The Oroboroi Chronicles, a World of Darkness rulebook which I lead the development team for.
I hope you all enjoy this, and I implore you to leave some feedback in the comments section: I'll experimenting with a few uncommon concepts here, and I'd like to know how people feel about how they're coming across. :3
FAQ
Because people keep bringing these things up...
Horror/Dark Tags
I've had multiple people ask "how bad does it get?" Note the lack of the "gore", "sad", or "mature" tags or anything like that. Yes, there is blood and death at some point in this story, but the real horror of this story comes from the philosophical and scientific quandaries the characters go through: this is "intellectual horror", not "visceral horror".
Length
In the interest of this NOT becoming one of those long, sprawling fics, I plan to keep this limited to a manageable 10 chapter limit, not counting Prologue and Epilogue. No one wants to read something that long, and I'd rather not be stressing over this 6 months from now.
Sequel
The Sequel is already in the works, with scenes already written. It will be a more episodic story revolving around world optimization and interplanar hijinks.
Crossovers
To be clear, I do plan on having the main character make one of those "Token" things, but as they often get in the way of actual stories, that won't happen until the end of the story. The Sequel will be crossover-heavy.
The crew of an RAN Destroyer begin to notice that one of their pilots is developing some odd quirks, to say the least. Wings, hooves and a cutie mark, just to name a few...
While on deployment to the Arabian Sea, the crew of a Royal Australian Navy Destroyer begin to notice that one of their helicopter pilots is starting to develop some rather odd quirks, both mentally and physically. A cutie mark, wings, hooves, and a knack for treasure-hunting, just to name a few...
Starlight Glimmer rewrote history, erasing the Sonic Rainboom and stranding Twilight in an Equestria that suffered one disaster after another until it was barely recognizable. Twilight has to act fast if she ever wants to see her home again.
Starlight Glimmer had the perfect plan: using Star Swirl's time travel spell, erase the Sonic Rainboom and everything it did. After failing to stop her, Twilight was returned abruptly to an Equestria that bears little resemblance to her home, where the other Elements of Harmony don't even know her name.
It should've been simple then: use Star Swirl's magic to return to the past and stop Starlight from changing things. Unfortunately for Twilight, all the magic in the Cutie Map is gone. She'll have to find another way to put Equestria right, and fast. After all, the Elements didn't stop Nightmare Moon...
This story is sponsored by Two Bit as a Patreon reward. If you'd like me to write your awesome story idea, that's the place. Cover by Zutcha.
A lightning bolt has teleported a human to a world full of happy, colorful, talking ponies. Holy....
(The Redone Version) (EFH has it's own TV Tropes page! Thanks to redandready45! )
A human has been teleported to Equestria after a lightning bolt struck him. The ponies of Ponyville had never seen anything like him before. Full of fear and uncertainty, all of Ponyville, except for the Mane 6 and Spike, avoided him. The human, with the help of the Mane 6, must earn Ponyville's friendship before a way back home is found.
Lock and load. It's about to get primeval in here.
A research accident on a remote island unleashes an unstoppable ancient enemy that hungers for destruction. Can the sudden appearance of an unexpected ally shatter the hands on the clock of doom?
NOTE: This story begins during the pause between seasons 5 and 6.
If you enjoyed this book, check out the spin-off series "Equestrian Alliance: Menagerie" available now!
To be able to live in Equestria, I have to perform a certain job. I have to be a checkpoint inspector. The princesses insisted that it’s because I’m good at it. I just think they know that I don’t like people/ponies/anyone that are stupid.
Hi. I’m Anon. Your run of the mill asshole. A proud one at that. When I came to this world, the princesses didn’t expect much. Then, they saw how I was good at picking up mistakes. So, they made me a functioning person in society. A mostly pony society. Ponies and other creature would be expecting to be welcomed by a warm hearted pony. Instead, they got me.
(Papers Please does not belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex)
Princess Luna is tired of living in her sister's shadow. She petitions Starswirl for help, and what she receives is far from what anypony expected. The real question is whether Equestria will survive her mistake.
Princess Luna is supposed to be her sister's equal. She watches over 12 of every 24 hours, after all. But she isn't, and everybody knows it. Equestria adores the one who brings warm, sunny days, and ponies sleep through her nights. Even her sister sometimes seems to forget that she's supposed to be one of Equestria's ruling diarchs.
Luna seeks help from the only pony she thinks can make a difference: Star Swirl the Bearded. He provides a spell, one she can use to change herself into the pony she wants to be.
Unfortunately for her (and the rest of Equestria), things don't go quite as expected.
Updates Wednesdays, though it may update a little quicker at first as the Fimfiction version of this story catches up to the one posted on Patreon. Cover by Zutcha, as always. These just keep getting better, don't they?
This is a Patreon-sponsored story, written for Aurora Gleam. So tremendous thanks to them for making this adventure possible.
Long after the event stole all the humans from Earth, changeling queen Evoli is sick of the constant self-destruction of pony civilizations. Maybe if someone with real talent for leadership could take over, her swarm wouldn't go hungry.
Over a thousand years ago, every human on Earth vanished. The ponies left behind were forced to rebuild what they could, largely ignorant of their new abilities. When a devastating plague spelled the end of the first age of pony civilization on Earth, the changelings were forced to watch helplessly as their food supply withered away.
Queen Evoli's swarm is barely surviving on the measly drops of love they can scavenge from the slow-recovering pony population. But it wouldn't have to be that way, if only somepony who really knew how to lead was in charge. She is many centuries old now, with power and experience that ponies in their short lives cannot imagine. Maybe if the world had somepony like her to rule it, civilization would do better.
At least she wouldn't be going hungry anymore...
A Ponies After People story written for Sparktail on my Patreon, crossposted to Fimfiction. Updates daily until complete. Edited by Sparktail and Two Bit, and cover by Zutcha.
