Horns are a dangerous weapon. You can't just wave it around and use it willy-nilly. You need to be careful. You must use your horn safely. Anon goes on a journey to ensure that horns in Ponyville are properly protected.
If you were thrown into a world of technicolor ponies, what would you do? For the lone human Anonymous, he'll discover the insane and wacky world of Equestria after being whisked away from Earth via portal. With a few interesting side effects, Anon will go on a quest to remember his past while also learning about friendship...and all that fruity stuff.
"Mysterious alien-like being to ponykind equals riveting tale." ~The Gracious Articuno
"Watch how he dominates animals with this one weird trick!" ~Milos
"Kind of slice of life. I can just keep reading." ~spiketen
It's been several months since the human, Anonymous, has taken permanent residence in Equestria with the bestest friends he could've asked for.
But life in this world is anything BUT normal. Having to deal with dogs, dance-offs and unfamiliar lands, Anon'll have to face the biggest threat of his life:
Galaxy Hair really wants to take over the whole day/night shtick, and y'know, just make it night for like, ever. Problem is, Anon wants to sleep, but forever is a long time so, yeah. He's gonna try and do something about that. Key word, 'try'.
An accidental magnum opus. With 1000 likes. What the fuck is wrong with you people.
Thanks for letting this get featured one last last time, you fucks
4/06/2019 Jesus, guys, I just wanna sleep 11/27/2019
. . . . .
You're Anon, the sole human of Equestria. You've been living there for, er... you can't really recall. A year, two maybe? Anyway, every year, from what you've gathered, there is one day. One goddamn day that really pisses you off. The 'Summer Sun Celebration' comes around every (your time) August 16th, and it is literally the longest day of the year.
You would have no problems with this—if only it didn't start at four in the fucking morning.
This year just seems to be extra against you; an evil deity that's been banished to the moon for a thousand-so years decides to come back, and boy is she a bitch.
As I've explained to LD, the rating bump from Teen to Mature wasn't exactly my call. A staff member kindly notified me of the rules regarding swearing in the long description of a Teen rated fic. There is no sex, no gore, just pure stupidity without the restraints of a T holding it back.
You're Anon, and you're in a strange, childlike place, and your job is to wash dishes.
This childish world stands no chance against your might, and your prowess of washing dishes. This is your journey to become the best dishwasher in all of pony land! Make friends, give talks on the birds and the bees, and become one with the art of underwater ceramics!
Who knows, one day, you might even do something that'll change the world!
As a wise man once said... "The dishes beckon, and I am their reckoning."
Ponicemares risk skinned knees and noogies for the sake of the innocent. Now, if only Anon could get out of this desk job and actually make a difference... (RGRE)
Anon had a bad feeling when he saw the ice cream machine outside Firmly Asked Questions. Not only was the world softer and fluffier than he had anticipated, but he would also have to watch his weight.
Anon is tired of Twilight's questions. Twilight isn't tired of asking questions. Chaos ensues.
Anonymous, the only human in Equestria, has long had to place a limit on the number of questions Twilight can ask about humans. Thing is, Twilight clearly needs to know about human adrenaline. Obviously, the only solution is to rope the whole town into a huge scheme to get him to use it.
You land in the middle of the Everfree Forest and meet a lone bat filly. You end up helping her get back home, and at the same time wondering if you'll be able to get home yourself. But would it be so bad if you couldn't?
You wake up in the middle of an unknown forest, surrounded by alien plants and animals, and a frightened bat filly. You take it upon yourself to help this filly get back to civilization, by way of miles of dangerous obstacles, bat filly antics, and the dread you'll never be able to get back home. But by the end, will you want to?
Cover art by Ravensun. Edited slightly to match Mischievous' colors.
WARNING: Contents may contain Adorable bat filly antics, Potential 'D'aww' moments, Feels
Featured 8/27/19! My first featured fic if I'm not mistaken. Thank you all so much!
Luna happens upon a particularly unflattering dream, and now Anon is the town pariah of Ponyville. As he seeks to prove his innocence, he cannot help but come to one conclusion. Ponies are weird. Warning: This is pure id-fic, which is to say, writing whatever was appealing at the time. 0% literary depth.
You, Anonymous, ends up meeting your demise in an unfortunate work accident... or so you thought. After waking up in a crazy new world, you end up getting caught up in a war between equestria and a dark force, and you’re prophesied to stop it.
You are Anonymous, a young scientist working for NASA. Well, worked for NASA that is. A catastrophic work accident resulted in your “death” and ended up sending you to a new dimension, one full of ponies rather than humans. You befriend many of these creatures, meet the princess, and try and find a way for you to get home. However, a dark evil happens to rise from the depths of equestrian hell, and evidently you’re prophesied to stop it. Great.
Due to circumstances beyond her control, Trixie finds herself in dire need of bits. So, with few ideas, she tries something unorthodox.
Due to circumstances beyond her control, Trixie finds herself in dire need of bits. So, with few ideas and even fewer options, she tries something unorthodox. The results are far better than expected.
Warning: Human X Horse Relations. RGRE-ish vibes as well. Please Be Advised.
Umbra has never been good with Colts, but when her friends drag her out to a bar to get her some tail, she finally musters up the courage to talk to one. Only problem is, she chose Anonymous. An RGRE story
Umbra has never been good with Colts, but when her friends drag her out to a bar to get her some tail, she finally musters up the courage to talk to one. Only problem is, she chose Anonymous, the exotic human that no mare has been able to take home.
But with a bit of luck and more than a little liquid courage, Umbra might find they connect in ways she never thought possible.
The Cakes left you and Pinkie Pie the responsibility of making a few orders after hours while they are away. Depravity and silliness ensue.
You have had your eye on Pinkie Pie ever since you started working at Sugarcube Corner. You enjoyed working with such an energetic, funny, cute, and happy mare. Unfortunately the Cakes have a family emergency in Canterlot and left you and Pinkie to run the store for a weekend. Fortunately Pinkie has an absolutely fantastic way to pass the time.
Contains: Pinkie Pie, anal sex, rimming, 69, banana split cliche, spanking, completely inappropriate use of whipped cream, food play, and Pinkie Pie philosophy.
[WARNING: Contains ear scratching, belly rubs, and blushing cheeks] Anonymous is sent to jail for his most heinous crimes of bullying in the second degree, there he meets a mare working as a prison guard called Cookies 'n Cream.
[WARNING: Contains ear scratching, belly rubs, and blushing cheeks]
Anonymous is sent to jail for his most heinous crimes of bullying in the second degree, there he meets a mare working as a prison guard called Cookies 'n Cream.
Written originally for the Anon in Pone Prison threads on /mlp/, which is where the OC Cookies 'n Cream (Pictured) comes from.
It turns out Marble Pie has a taste for the unusual. You, to be precise.
You’ve lived and worked on the Pie family rock farm for the greater part of a year now, and throughout that time, a certain shy grey mare has been secretly pining for your affections. This is the story of how she finally gets them.
Cl0pfic starring you x Marble Pie. If shy mares are your fetish, then this smutfest will likely be right up your alley.
After his 'encounter' with Princess Celestia in the throne room, Anon's life had come to a bit of a lull. That quickly revolves itself after a misunderstanding and a timberwolf attack leads him back to Canterlot. Shenanigans ensue.
Several months after his 'encounter' with Princess Celestia in the throne room, Anon's life had come to a bit of a lull. He was content in his solitude and was enjoying spending his days doing... not much at all. And occasionally abusing boops to get his way, but that's less important.
When he comes to realize the difference between solitude and loneliness, he sets out to fix it.
After getting shipped off to Canterlot due to some slight misunderstandings and slight timberwolf attacks, there's a tab bit more to deal with than he'd expect.
Like Princess Luna. And rebuilding bridges with Twilight. And Princess Celestia's odd behaviour.
Image, for those curious. Give the artist some love! Previous Image used. Still, give this artist some love, too!
Previously featured multiple times- I can't put how thankful I am for that. I'm glad you folks enjoy my silly stories.
